Already jaded?

So update on my life from the past few hours: this flight is annoying. At least I have a pleasant rowmate. AND at least I got to carry my guitar on, no problem. Maybe after the whole “United Breaks Guitars” YouTube debacle, they’re extra conscious. Who knows? Okay so I’m thankful for those things.

Anyway, my flight didn’t BOARD until 1pm – we were supposed to depart at 11:45. And they haven’t made a single announcement about why they were delayed or what time they anticipate our landing. There wasn’t even anyone at our gate until 12:50. So that is frustrating too. Oh well.

On a more personal level, I drank a whole can of cranapple and need to pee like a caged dog. But they keep running into pockets of turbulence, so we’re all chained to our seats. Of all things to drink and not be able to pee…Cranapple!! Why? Why? 

When we boarded the plane, they announced someone with a peanut allergy was on board, and they needed to know if anyone brought any peanut products onto the plane. If you had any nuts or nut products, you needed to ring your call button to alert a flight attendant. An older woman a row ahead of me anxiously rang while grasping her (delicious looking) Mrs. Mays snack bag.

That must be one serious allergic reaction. You can’t be on the same plane with peanuts?! It’s an airplane! You were just in an airport! It’s like peanut Mecca in there! Okay, in all seriousness, I’m sure there was a parent preventing the worst case scenario and making sure they weren’t seated RIGHT behind someone with an economy-size canister of Planters who might drop some carelessly or offer their clueless (and deathly allergic) toddler a legume of the Knowledge of Good and Evil when the parent accidentally nodded off during the flight.

Which makes also smile… thinking about how the Worst Case Scenario is different for different people. Remember that book made popular years ago, something like the Worst Case Scenario survival handbook?  Maybe there should be a series of them like the Dummy instruction manuals, based on different people’s fears and legitimate (though circumstancial or specific) concerns. Like the Worst Case Scenario Handbook for thr Incontinent. I could almost use that one for pointers now.

One thought on “Already jaded?

  1. your jadedness was quite entertaining. maybe you should write a book next……. about airplanes of course.

    merry christmas

    oh I'm stuck waiting for everyone in my family to pack there things so we can go to my grandparents house…… thats why I'm reading your blog on christmas. 😉

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